Sorry for the long wait. I've come home from school around 7-8 pm every day now, and fallen asleep in front of the computer (completely exhausted) before finishing anything. I've also got a big project at school which takes up much of my time (one of the reasons for coming home so late...)
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CHAPTER 13: Stretching pain
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After a few weeks (well, months really) of wandering around with all those dark thoughts, I finally managed to lock them away in a place far back in my mind. I knew then best thing for Aidan and the rest of the family was to try living as normal as possible. It wasn't easy and we would need some time to adjust, but like I'd told Tony we'd eventually get used to the changes.
We started taking Aidan to swimming lessons at the hospital gym, because doing exercises in water was less straining and much better for his muscles than any other training. He absolutely loved splashing about in the water, and learned to swim in no time at all. I'd be terrified when he suddenly dove under the surface, and then swam several meters before he broke the surface again, making a huge splash and laughing so much he nearly lost his breath.
Sometimes we would bring Lily and Erica to his exercises, and soon enough we had three little dolphins playing around in the water, only coming up for air.
For hindering Aidan's muscles going stiff, we had to help him doing stretching exercises for thirty minutes at least two times a day. We visited the physiotherapist every day for a few weeks, getting instructions in how to do the stretching on Aidan at home. For now, this was not exactly pleasant for Aidan, but if his muscles stiffened, it could become very painful for him.
The stretching wasn't meant to hurt - but I knew that if I didn't stretch my own muscles after exercising, they became sore and stiff. If I didn't stretch, my muscles would only be sore only for a few days. If Aidan didn't stretch, his muscles would only go stiffer, and in the end become useless. They still would, even if he did the stretching - but the point was for it to happen much slower. At the physiotherapist he smiled and had did what she told him to do, but at home he easily got distracted, and wasn't too fond of doing exercises when the others were playing around. For an impatient little boy who hated everything that hurt and took time, this was as good as torture.
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"Aidan, get back here!" I said, after Aidan had given up for the umpteenth time in an hour.
"Don't want to. Hurts!"
"If you don't let me do it, your legs will hurt even more. Now get back here!" I knew he was too young to understand why he had to do stretching exercises, but my own patience was running out.
Aidan waddled away, and hid under a load of pillows.
I sighed, and got up from the floor. I should be glad he still could move around, but without stretching his muscles, he would most likely need a wheelchair much faster.
I eventually managed to drag him out from the pillow castle the girls had made earlier that day (they really loved making pillow castles, especially in the living room, to my great annoyance).
After four kids I had long ago learned how to be the boss, and I guess Aidan sensed I was at the end of my patience, so he did what he was told the rest of the half hour (which had really stretched to an hour by now). Finally finished, I let him waddle away again.
Tony walked up behind me. "Maybe I should try the next time, mom."
"If you want to, I'll not hinder you. At least he keeps still when you do it."
"Usually is the key word. He has a tendency to trick me into playing with him instead."
"And you usually let him do it."
"Well, don't blame me. He's very hard to say no to. Have you seen my cartoon, by the way?"
"I think it's behind the sofa pillows somewhere. I have a feeling that's where everything that gets lost in this house eventually shows up."
Several of the pillows landed on the floor as Tony rummaged around to find his DVD. I sighed. Even more tidying to do. As if I didn't already have enough to do in this house. When were my children ever going to learn to clean up after themselves? No matter how much I nagged, they didn't seem to notice.
"Ah, here it is. Thanks, mom."
"If you had put it in the DVD shelf, you wouldn't need to go looking for it. And put those pillows back, Tony."
He didn't listen, because I didn't get an answer from him before he left the room.
I guess if you looked away from the mess he had a tendency to leave behind, having Tony in the house helped a lot. Both Aidan and the girls looked up to their older brother, and I knew Tony loved all of them. He was a great big brother. Always there when I needed help, and always there when the little ones were bored. He loved playing with them, and was never embarrassed when they wanted to play cowboys with him as horse. He even made all the required sound-effects. The only thing I would like to change about him was his complete lack of understanding how to keep his surroundings clean and tidy.
The past few months, Tony had gone through a quick growth spurt. Being almost fourteen, he wasn't as bad as other teens I knew of, and he had fewer mood swings than what I'd dreaded. I guess having three younger siblings to help taking care of had something to do with it. I could already now see he would become one of the handsome boys most girls could only dream about.
They all grew so fast. Erica had started school, and she loved it there. Two more years and it was the twins' turn. I almost couldn't believe they were already four years old. Time went fast. Too fast.
A tear fell down my cheek. Just one this time.
It wasn't easy to get over all the feelings which were still making a mess inside me, but somehow the changes had eventually seeped into our daily life routine, and family life had somehow been restored to a point where all the things we'd have to deal with in the future didn't resurface unless I had a really bad day. Yelling at the twins for stealing cookies before dinner, or dealing with Aidan's now less frequent hospital tantrums were no longer followed by the solemn thought of "why am I yelling at him when he's going to die too early?" like in the beginning. Somewhere along the way I'd gotten used to the fact that my son was only getting sicker and sicker, and that we would lose him long before we were meant to. It felt wrong for a lot of reasons, but at the same time it wasn't right to treat him any different from his siblings. While my first instinct was to protect him, I couldn't bubble-wrap him so he'd stay protected all his life. This was the life he'd been dealt, and like any other kid he didn't come pre-packed with absolute perfection. He had a need to test his limits (and my patience) just like the rest of his siblings. I had to give him the chance to test his wings, so to speak, even if they turned out to be partly broken.
Just then I felt a small hand on my shoulder.
"Mommy, don't be so sad," Aidan said, looking at me sideways. "Can you please be happy again, Mommy?"
I dried away my tears. "I'll try."
"I love you, mommy," Aidan said with a big sunny smile, and hugged me.
"I love you too, Aidan," I said, and hugged him back.
He was such an amazing little boy.
Who else had the ability to brighten up someone's day just by giving them a hug?
