1000 Things I've learned from watching action movies

[Carlwashere]

I really like DaSpecial1's thread about 1000 things I've learned from watching horror movies, so all credits for the original idea go to DaSpecial1.
The thing is, horror movies aren't the only kind of movie. So I figured we'd want to include more genres into the mix. I personally like action movies A LOT. So naturally, I choose that genre.
Thanks again to DaSpecial1 for the great idea!

1. Don't bring a bullet proof vest, it'll just weigh you down. The bad guy's bullets will always hit 5 feet behind you anyway.
2. Beautiful women always have high ranks in secret agencies.
3. Cars go "KABOOM!" after only a couple bullets.
4. If your in some big secret agency, chances are that you're going to be driving a shiny, new, noticeable, $100,000+ sports car.

[SenkoTwiik]

5. There are no such things as lesbians in action movies. EVERY woman in the film is attracted to the hero, and the prettiest one out of all of them gets him in the end.

6. Don't worry about being captured by the bad guy. He will always run his mouth for 30 minutes before he plans to kill you, giving you plenty of time to escape.

[Carlwashere]

7. Don't mind bringing more than a small-caliber pistol, you'll find a full-sized automatic rifle soon.
8. The best way to blend in is to wear the more noticeable clothes and drive expensive cars. Even in the middle of the slum.
9. Remember everything about your childhood, it'll turn up as a game show question.

[SenkoTwiik]

10. It doesn't matter if you're in your 60's. You'll still be able to kick butt and get the girl in the end.

11. Never wonder what the bad guy's motive is... he will eventually tell you everything before he plans to kill you.

12. If you're a cop, don't get too attached to your partner, he will get killed...most likely risking is life to save you.

13. Don't worry about getting shot...repeatedly. NOTHING destroys the hero.

14. If the hero goes into a brick building that blows up, and there is brick and debris everywhere, don't worry, he's okay.

[caffeinated.joy]

15. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

16. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

17. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

[SenkoTwiik]

18. The first rich guy you meet that has a funny accent is the bad guy. There! I saved you 2 hours of crap.

19. The methed-out prostitute that's always getting arrested has a lot of information. Talk to her at the beginning, before a bunch of people get killed.

20. The average joe always seems to have what it takes to save the day.

21. The hero's wife/girlfriend always complains about being poor, no matter what career the hero has or how nice their house is.

[Carlwashere]

22. The hero always has perfect senses and self defense skills he also tends to say things to the bad guys that make him seem more awesome mid fight.

23. The hero can take a ton of bullets if he needs to.

24. The average bad guy henchman can only take one. Even if it's only to the leg.

[SenkoTwiik]

25. There's always a sissy guy on the bad guy's side that will "tell you everything" if you don't kill him.

26. There is always a good guy secretly working for the bad guy, and when you ask him why, he will give you the stupidest reasons known to man.

[caffeinated.joy]

28. A detective can only solve a case once he's been suspended from it.

29. No matter how many times you punch someone or how hard, they will always come back for more and their injuries will have magically healed by the next day.

30. Lipstick never wears off. Even if you go scuba diving, dodge an avalanche, be in an accident where the car flips over several times and get swept up in a passionate kiss with your attractive male opposite.

[SenkoTwiik]

31. There is always one decent criminal in the mix.

32. No one ever gets tired of running. They can run through an entire apartment complex and up 8 flights of stairs without a breather.

33. Everyone can always afford expensive dinners and dancing.

[caffeinated.joy]

34. Upscale, expensively furnished, high-rise apartments are in even the poorest person's budget.

35. Secret agents never drown.

[SenkoTwiik]

36. Never say, "It's okay now" or "it's over" because something crazy is going to happen in about two seconds.

37. Heroes always have perfect aim, even whilst firing two guns and jumping through the air.

[Carlwashere]

38. Secret agents can swim in tuxes.
39. Female secret agents can run for miles in heels.
40. No one cares when no one knows the people (the agents) who just walked into the very exclusive party.
41. If you're the hero, don't expect to have any problems when you get into your mandatory high speed chase through the city. You'll always have a perfect opening.
42. If you're a henchman, expect to be hit by a semi the first intersection you cross chasing the hero.

[caffeinated.joy]

43. If disguising yourself as a German agent, it's only necessary for you to have a passable German accent. You don't have to actually speak the language.

[SenkoTwiik]

44. Same goes with Russian.

45. The bad guys always have important meetings in the highest floor of a business tower.