Confessions of Ashlee: Part One FINISHED

[SenkoTwiik]

[Loosely] Based on a true story.

Warnings:
-Teen pregnancy
-Stressful situations
-Mentionings of inappropriate age relationship
-The legal issues that follow
-Single picture of [non-graphic] violence



Confessions of Ashlee: Introduction


Let me introduce myself. My name is Ashlee Dawson. I’m 17, the eldest of five children and I have had to practically be “mommy” to the others from the time I was just a little girl. My mom, Nadya, was always too busy living her life for herself. She wanted to have a big family, but she wanted to be able to still act like a teenager as well. You can’t mix those two wants and have it come out right.


She doesn’t have a career. She hasn’t worked for almost 10 years. She has been collecting disability ever since she got into a car accident and broke her hip. She says it bothers her all the time, but I’m not blind. I see my mom for what she really is, a simply lazy woman. She has enough strength to run around and have fun with friends, shop and go to salons, but her hip mysteriously hurts her when the time comes to do any work, even around the house. She sustains our household with her disability money, child support checks, and different government assistance programs. Yes, it’s embarrassing but there isn’t anything I can do about it until I move out on my own.


I used to have a part-time job during the summer last year but it didn’t last long. My mom insisted that I quit because she ‘needed help’ with my siblings at the time: 13 year old Aubrey, 6 year old Adam and 1 year old Abbey. Being a back-up mom has really made it to where I do not want to have children of my own for a long time. As soon as Aubrey got old enough to help take care of her brother and sister, I had a dark period start in my life where I went out drinking and partying all the time. It took me some time before I realized how unfair this was to Aubrey and how I had thrown her right into the position I hated being in myself. So I soon put that irresponsible part of myself away, and promised to be a better example for my siblings, who looked up to me. Try as I did, life still took a downward turn from that point.


P.S. Mods, are the sizes of the pics okay? Photobucket either made me keep them at 300 something or change them to a bigger size, and if I wanted them a size bigger, I had to go with 640X400. I'm not sure how to get them at exactly 600.

[SenkoTwiik]

Chapter 1:

The most stressful year of our lives started exactly a year ago. It was Saturday and I had just returned home from a day out with the love of my life, Ayah. I thought leaving my mom to take care of the other kids for 8 hours would be okay, and nothing bad would happen in that short amount of time. How wrong I was…


Ayah and I had just said our goodbyes for the evening and I was returning home at about 6pm that day. I was planning on taking a bath and watching a movie I had just rented at the store, but when I went into my living room, I forgot all about it. What I saw horrified me and I just started screaming “Oh my God!”


My 13 year old sister Aubrey was laying on the recliner, and her face was covered in blood. At just that quick glance I thought she was dead, and the fact that she didn’t even twitch while I was screaming my head off made me about sure she really was dead. It was awful.

Suddenly my mom came waddling out of her room as fast as she could (heavily pregnant at the time), apparently having just checked on Abbey while she napped. She got to me and grabbed onto me, shaking my shoulders and telling me to calm down. I kept telling her that Aubrey was dead.

“Aubrey is NOT dead, Ashlee. Now be quiet and let her sleep.” I just stared at my mom, waiting for some kind of an answer from her. As if reading my mind she said, “Something happened while you were out today.”
I waited, and when she didn’t say anything I shouted at her, “WHAT?! Spit it out, mom!”

“Just before noon she got a phone call saying that there was a party going on a couple of blocks away at her friend Megan’s house. It was Megan’s birthday and Aubrey wanted to go. So I said okay. She came home at about 3, looking like that and just wailing hysterically.


I managed to get her to tell me that Richard did that to her. So I called the police as soon as she told me. I filed a report while I was in the waiting room of the hospital, after we were escorted by the police to get Aubrey checked out. They’re investigating, and hopefully arresting Richard right now.”



To clarify things, Richard was Aubrey’s boyfriend, and her friend Megan’s older brother. I was always against their relationship because Richard was 18 years old. I thought that nothing good could come of them being together and always knew there was no way he could be sincere in dating a 13 year old when he was just out of high school. But my mom allowed it, because she met Richard and said he “seemed all right”. She had even let them go on a few dates together, unsupervised. Mom and I had gotten into a number of arguments regarding this subject before. Yeah he was still a kid and looked like he was 12, but come on! It was a bad idea.

Apparently, after being together for 3 months, Aubrey wanted end their relationship for reasons I didn’t know of at the time. Whatever reason it was, it didn’t matter to me. As soon as she told me she was going to break it off with him, I encouraged her to do so. In my eyes, she couldn’t have broke it off with him fast enough. She decided to do it next time she saw him, which was at Megan’s party. When she told him it was over, he became angry and proceeded to beat my sister senseless. She ran home as soon as she got free from his grasp, not listening to Megan’s parents who tried to get her to sit down.

The doctor told my mom that Aubrey sustained a minor concussion, but no broken bones or internal bleeding. She was badly bruised and pretty scraped up but the doctor expected her to make a speedy recovery. The reason why she didn’t move when I screamed was because they gave her medication for the pain and it made her sleep. I though sleeping was bad after receiving a concussion, but mom said the doctors said it was okay to let her sleep an hour after the injury.


Three weeks went by, Richard was being held in jail and Aubrey’s bruising faded away, but my worry didn’t. My sister just wasn’t acting like the same person anymore, and nobody seemed to notice but me. She was constantly tired. The only time I even saw her out of bed was when she was at school. She didn’t want to eat and her face was always pale and sickly in appearance. She started throwing up even when she didn’t eat or drink, always appeared dizzy and often complained of headaches. Since nobody else was going to help, I had to talk to her, and confirm my fears.


Me:  Aubrey, I’m really worried about you.
Aubrey: Why? I’m just sick is all, sis.
Me: I wish that was it but I think something might be wrong with you.
Aubrey: Maybe I’m still just funky from the concussion.
Me: The effects of a minor concussion don’t last for a month. I think this may be more serious. It seems to me like you may be pregnant.
Aubrey: (laughing) Pregnant? I can’t be pregnant. I’m only 13!
Me: Oh wake up, Aubrey. I know you aren’t that stupid. You know how pregnancy happens. You don’t have to be some *magical* age.

Aubrey: Ease up. I’m just saying-
Me: Did you and Richard…DO anything?
Aubrey: God, what’s with the 20 questions, Ash?
Me: Aubrey! Did you?
Aubrey: I don’t have to tell you that.
Me: He talked you into it, didn’t he? Why are you so damn naïve? Do you know that what he was doing with you is illegal? It’s statutory rape! You’re still a minor and he should be in jail for that.
Aubrey: Leave it alone. He already is in jail.
Me: For battery, not for THIS!
Aubrey: I’m not a ch-
Me: You need to tell mom.
Aubrey: NO! Just get out of my business!

As much as she got irritated at me, I knew I had to talk to my mom. When I did, I have to say I was disappointed with her. She seemed just as clueless and in denial as my sister did. Had she not been just about to pop with her 5th child at the time, I would have thought she had no idea where babies even came from. She gave me the same few answers Aubrey did, “She’s only 13!” and “Maybe she’s still funky from the concussion.” It took another screaming argument before I got her to admit, “Maybe you’re right.”


She swore she would look into it, and would pick up a pregnancy test when she went to the store tomorrow morning.

[Katie]

awsome senko!! that was brilliant!!! (where did you get Ahslee's hair???) i LOVE it!!!

[SenkoTwiik]

Really, you liked it? YAY!

I got Ashlee's hair over at GOS. I actually did a WCIF here to find it. That's right here: http://www.insimenator.org/index.php/topic,106774.0.html

Just follow the links from there.

Chapter 2 will be up tomorrow night.

[Katie]

wooo!!! i cannot WAIT!!!!

[SenkoTwiik]

Chapter 2:


The following day, Aubrey didn’t return home until about 5:30, because she had a student council meeting after school. She was the school’s vice president. I never mentioned it before, but my sister was a very good student. She liked learning and kept at least a B+ average, more often in the A range. She was also friendly, not quite popular but she got along with everyone. Teachers liked her because she was well-behaved and did very neat work, always turned in on time. She took pride in her school, and since the middle school didn’t have a cheerleading squad, she wanted to show her devotion in other ways.

She came home, cheerful as always with an “I’m home!” before her smile was quickly wiped away with a look of surprise when both mom and I stood up to meet her by the door.

“How was school, honey?” Mom asked, with a hand on her lower back, shifting her weight.
“It was good, why? What’s…what’s going on?” Aubrey answered, looking rapidly from me to my mom and back.
“How are you feeling?” Mom asked, places a hand on Aubrey’s forehead for a moment, then removing it, mentioning that it was a little warm.
“I’m a little tired. But I’m fine. Why?” Her expression became less and less relaxed and she now looked slightly panicked. Unconsciously her hand went up to fiddle with the hem of her shirt as she waited for the awkward silence to be over between us.
“Aubrey, we’re worried about you. Really worried. You’ve been so tired and sick lately and I just think that you need to open up and talk to us. What’s going on?” Mom started, trying to sound calm and sincere. She wasn’t used to doing these ‘reach out’ speeches to any of us kids, and the slowness of her speaking made it totally obvious that she was uncomfortable, not about the situation but about this little moment here.
“I’ve just been really stressed. School has had a lot of stuff going on, especially the student council, plus this whole trial with Richard coming up. Maybe it’s just PMS.” Aubrey answered, clearly looking for a way out.
“Honey I wasn’t born last night. PMS doesn’t last for a month. I have… well I’m about to have 5 kids and I think I know what may be wrong. I think you know too.”


Mom answered, once again, very calm. I think she just really wanted to be able to get through this without having to yell at Aubrey. She wanted to be more her friend than her mom at the moment, just to get the answers I demanded she needed to know.
“You told her?!” Aubrey shouted, suddenly her eyes burned into me. If looks could kill…
“Ashlee how could you?! I told you to just leave it alone! You had to get mom into it…” Her voice started to shake and I knew she was really upset, on the verge of tears. She just looked at the floor, huffing for a moment.
“Your sister was worried, that’s why she came to me. Not to get you in trouble, but to make sure that you are going to be okay. I have just been so busy I didn’t notice. But we need some clarity here. I bought you a pregnancy test at the store today. I’ll go put it in the bathroom, I want you to take it.”
Mom walked away to her room. I guess she kept the test there so that my little brother wouldn’t find it and ask questions. Right now we had nothing to worry about, because he was playing at the neighbor’s house right now.

Aubrey looked back up at me, tears in her eyes and her arms crossed.

“Really, Ashlee. Thanks, thanks a lot. I’m in the deepest crap right now and it’s because of you. If you would have just shut up when I asked you to, things would still be fine. How could you do this to me?”
I didn’t have an answer for her. She was upset and I knew nothing I could say would make her feel better right now. She just needed time to cool down and understand why I told mom. But that would have to wait because mom came back out of her room with a pink and white box in her hand, placed a hand on Aubrey’s shoulder and gently lead her to the hall bathroom, whispering a soft “Come on.”

We stopped at the door and my mom went into the bathroom, took the test out, unwrapped it and sat it on the counter, while Aubrey continued to glare at me. She then led my sister inside, told her to read through the directions carefully and then try it out. We both stepped away to wait down the hall for her.


She was in there a total of 10 minutes before mom and I decided to check on her. We went back to the door and mom lightly knocked on it.
“Aubrey, babe. Are you okay in there?”
From behind the door there came a shuffle, and then a rustle of the tissue box by the sink.
“Y-yeah…yeah I’m okay.” She definitely sounded like she had been crying, or was still crying and trying to hide it.
“Did you manage with the test?” Mom continued, urging a little more response from Aubrey.
“Just give me a minute. I’ll be right out.” A little more shuffling, sniffling, and a drop of something solid into the trash bin before the door unlocked and opened. Out came my sister, with dry, red eyes. She had spent that last minute composing herself so that hopefully we wouldn’t know she was crying. Neither of us mentioned it. Instead we pretended she looked fine.
“So, how did it go?” Mom asked, after she allowed Aubrey another moment of silence.
“Well, I did what the directions said, except they said it was supposed to be the first pee of the day, and I already went to the bathroom this morning. But I still had enough to do the test. So I did it, recapped the test and sat it flat. I waited the three minutes like they said, and a minus line is supposed to be negative…and the plus sign is a positive, like in math…or a magnet…”


I could see what she was doing. Often times when Aubrey was nervous or scared, she would blabber on about things that everybody knew about. It was obvious to her that we both knew how a pregnancy test worked, but she used her long speech to continue to try calming herself down. It seemed to work at some points, but at others her voice started to shake and she needed to pause to take a breath.
“Well? What’s the verdict?” Mom asked, still patient.
“Mom,” Aubrey started, trying to sound as mature as possible, even through her quivering lower lip. “I’m…pr…eg…nant.”

That was it. That was all the poor girl could get out before she burst into a fit of tears and sobs, quickly covering her eyes. Mom quickly hugged her shaking daughter to her and tried her best to be soothing, saying things like:
“Shhh, it’s okay.” Or “We’re going to get through this.”
But they fell deafly on Aubrey who could only keep repeating “I’m sorry” through sobs.

[Katie]

Oh my god!!! that was brilliant!!! i can't even think of good words to describe it, that was fantastic!!!

[Dmcclure1]

I cant wait, im starting to get attached lol.

[Katie]

hurry up and post chapter three already!!! 

[SenkoTwiik]

Chapter 3:


I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I was sure that she was pregnant, but hearing the news and actually knowing wasn’t any less shocking no matter how much I tried to prep myself for it. I just thought of all people, Aubrey would be the last person I would ever suspect would get herself into this situation. She was usually so responsible and as normal as any kid her age could be. She wasn’t a drinker, she didn’t ever sneak out of the house and party, she was never in any serious trouble, she wasn’t skanky. Aubrey was both a school and family-oriented girl.

By all accounts you with think that she would be a golden child that everyone could be proud of. But she made this serious mistake. Had mom told her to stay away from Richard, she would have and this would never have happened. But like a normal kid, when mom said that something was okay, Aubrey was reassured that it really was okay.


That was how the original guilt that Aubrey felt about the unplanned pregnancy faded away. Mom told her that it was somehow okay and that she would make it through. She wasn’t mad, and she didn’t even tell Aubrey that she was disappointed. So needless to say, Aubrey eventually stopped worrying and stopped feeling bad about it. Within a week of finding out, she was looking at this less seriously than she should have been.


It was around this time that I completely lost faith in my mom. It was around this time that I realized how mentally unstable she really was. I thought, for maybe a brief moment that she wasn’t acting disappointed to keep from upsetting Aubrey any further, but the truth came out rather quickly.

One day, Aubrey was still at school helping the student council get the gym ready for the school dance that was coming up the next day, and Adam was in his room playing, so mom and I had some time to talk. Of course we got to talking about Aubrey and sometime throughout the conversation my mom just stops and suddenly says:

“Oh…my…God! I’m gonna be a grandma! That is so…wild!” She squealed, grinning wide.


She WASN’T disappointed. She wasn’t even worried about what could happen to her 13 year old daughter. She was excited! Happy as a lark! I just stared at her in shock. I couldn’t even believe she was my mother at the moment. I was suddenly so mad that I just wanted to punch her, and I might have had she not been pregnant. I mean, there was nothing that being angry at Aubrey could have solved. What’s done was done, but she could have at least showed some form of concern for her kid, and exactly HOW this was going to pan out.

“Mom! Are you kidding-What’s wrong with you?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, taken back.
“You don’t seem to get the gravity of the situation. Your daughter is only in middle school, and she is going to be a mother! Do you know what that could do to her future? Do you even care that physically she could really be screwed up from giving birth at her age? She doesn’t-She doesn’t even know how to BE a mom!”

“Jesus, chillax Ash. That’s why she has me. I’ll be able to help her get the hang of being a mother, until she has it down. It’s not like I don’t know how to do it.”
“But mom-”
Her phone rang at that moment, the musical ringtone sounded. Let the rain fall down, And wake my dreams, Let it wash away, My sanity, 'Cause I wanna feel the thunder-
“Excuse me.” She said holding up her index finger to cut me off. She walked down the hall answering the phone, hence ending our seemingly pointless conversation.


My mom was a complete moron! How on Earth was she going to teach Aubrey how to be a good mom when she didn’t even know how to be one herself? She cares more about herself than she has ever cared about her children, and it shows. She was always making me take responsibility for her actions, and I always had to babysit while she was off being more of a teenager than me. How could a woman that has zero responsibility, someone that spends more time getting her hair done than being there for us, someone that has the mind of a 12 year old teeny-bopper and is addicted to her phone possibly teach anyone to do anything more than be stupid and unbelievably immature?


Two weeks had passed since we received the news, and Aubrey had her first OBGYN appointment with Dr. Bean. Mom had to step out of the room during her exam, so that the doctor could be sure that there really was a baby in existence. The doctor was able to confirm that she was 6 weeks and 4 days along. That surprised my mom that she was this far. She asked the doctor if the pain meds Aubrey had taken a month ago could hurt the baby and the doctor said it was probably fine, and that they should have done a pregnancy test on her when she was being seen for her concussion, but that even if they had it would not have shown up yet as a positive.


Since doctors are not allowed to give moral advice, she simply stuck with the scientific part of the situation.
   
“In regards to Aubrey’s age and development, I want to treat this as a mildly high risk pregnancy for now. As the weeks go by we will have a little more of an idea of what we can expect. She may grow with this easily or she may become fully high risk. This may be very strenuous for her in the later months.”


The doctor asked a couple of other questions about her general feelings and health. She went over a few tips on how to deal with the fatigue and morning sickness, what kind of food she should have, all those things. She was prescribed prenatal vitamins that I picked up at the store later and made her next appointment to be back at the doctor’s office in 4 weeks. This was becoming more and more real and frightening, and I seemed to be the only one that saw that the future was not going to be all sunshine and daisies.


P.S. Hope y'all liked chapter 3. My husband is off work tomorrow and we have a busy day, so capter four may not get posted until monday, but I'll try.

[milie529]

I LOVE it!!! Can't wait to read next chapter and learn what's gonna happen to this family! 

[Katie]

oh my goodness!!!! another BRILLIANT chapter, i felt like i WAS Ashlee!!!! you are truly brilliant Senko!!! amazing!!! i'll be posting my story later, so, check it when you see it! 

[SenkoTwiik]

Chapter 4:



About a month after the first doctor’s appointment, my new little brother Andrew was born. My grandma came to stay with us for three days, while my mom was in the hospital, and Aubrey asked me to keep quiet about the pregnancy because Grandma didn’t know. I said I would, because honestly I didn’t want to be the one to break it to Grandma. She was one of those people that asked a million questions and always lectured when she found out something new. For the most part, I didn’t like being around her, but she was my grandma and she helped our family through a lot, so I couldn’t be rude to her.



My mom could be a real jerk to Grandma, even though if it weren’t for Grandma at one time, she would have been living on the street with Aubrey and me. I understand she is annoying, but my mom owes her a lot of thanks. She has been there for us when we needed her and still tries to help out. My mom just doesn’t want to hear Grandma’s opinions about the life that she lives, and therefore pushes her away more often than not.


After bringing Andrew home, Grandma went back to her house across town. When Aubrey wasn’t at school, Mom involved her heavily in helping to take care of and play with Andrew, as a way of prepping her for the future. Aubrey already knew the basics: how to change a diaper, give a bath, feed, burp, swaddle, etc. But Mom felt that she needed to gain some of the fine touches of motherhood, such as soothing and multi-tasking. Haha, if she learns that, she will already be above Mom’s skills. Since I was 6, her multi-tasking was always, “Ashlee, keep an eye on the baby for a little bit, I have to (insert whatever ‘task’ she needed to get done).”

At this time, the pregnancy had been a secret, kept between me, mom, Aubrey, the doctor, my mom’s case worker, and the prosecution lawyer that was working with us in the upcoming trial. The situation needed to be added to the list of charges held against Richard. Of course, soon the Public Defender had to tell Richard about the new charges, and he told his family. Of the people that quickly found out, Megan was one of them.

Since the incident, Megan had stopped being friends with Aubrey, because she and her parents defended Richard for some ungodly reason, and if he went to jail, it would be “all Aubrey’s fault.” Luckily, witnesses at the party felt otherwise, and they agreed to testify in our favor.


Instead of seeing her brother as a pig, and defending her friend, Megan decided to do the opposite. She quickly broke off her friendship with my sister and started becoming a little fiend. As soon as she heard, she spread the news of Aubrey’s pregnancy all around the middle school, and soon the whole town was talking about it. Sadly the whole town didn’t know the truth because Megan neglected to tell it. Instead she lied and said that Aubrey had been with a whole bunch of different guys and had no idea who the father of her baby was. She said that Aubrey and her brother never dated, and that all this was a plan of hers to get Richard thrown in jail for rejecting her.

Of course this was an obvious fabrication, but nobody took the time to care. Small towns are all about gossip, and it didn’t matter to people if anyone was hurt in the process of their rumor mongering. The false information snow-balled and before long the bullying at school started up.



A group of kids started calling Aubrey names and made her come home feeling lower than dirt. Things never got physical, because Aubrey still had her own diminishing group of friends that had her back at all times, two of which were huge, tough, tall girls: the Makowski twins. They were really only around just incase, because middle school girls didn’t tend to follow through with any of their threats. They just wanted to look cool picking on people that are less fortunate.


Because of the recent harassment, the school called my mom into the office for a meeting. She spoke with the principal and confirmed the rumors, but explained the situation as well, so that nobody in that office would be able to jump to conclusions.

The principal and mom agreed that once a week, Aubrey should have time to see the school counselor. Time to openly talk and have something done about the hard time others were giving her would benefit her.

For the next three weeks, things looked like they were doing better. The kids that had been so rude got a firm talking to and whilst in school the jeering seemed to stop all together as everyone moved onto the next flavor of the week. Aubrey had a little bit of peace now, and could go back to doing her school work. She was actually still allowed to be in student council as well.



Aubrey almost made it to her 4 month mark without any further interruption until one Tuesday afternoon when we were all sitting at home, relaxing and having a decent time for once when we heard a knock at the front door.

Mom got up to answer it and there was a corporately dressed woman on the porch, followed by two make policemen. “Hi. I’m Sharon Taylor with Child Protective Services.”

[Katie]

oh no! they had better not take her baby!

[Stelio Kontos]

Oooh, stuff's going down, I've got the popcorn ready to go if anyone wants it.